The Red Bulletin

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Lewis Hamilton

Age: 24
Number: 1
Team:McLaren-Mercedes.
Nationality: British

Status
Like his team, Lewis can’t seem to do anything right just now. The allegations of cheating could have damaging, long-term implications for the team, and the position of newly appointed boss Martin Whitmarsh looks fragile. Hamilton and Whitmarsh et al are doing their best to limit the damage and restore their reputations but at the moment, they look about as popular as a party of investment bankers in a homeless shelter.

What's on your mind?
Sorry isn't the hardest word, it’s honorificabilitudinitatibus

Likes
Driving in the rain

Dislikes
Singin' in the rain

Looks like
The Great Satan or the Second Coming (depending on whether you're reading Spanish or British newspapers)

Most likely to...
… use oddly innocent exclamations to express profound disappointment (Gee, Darn, Gosh etc, etc)

Heikki Kovalainen

Age: 27
Number: 2
Team: McLaren-Mercedes.
Nationality: Finnish

Status
Heikki seems to have had the opposite experience to his team-mate: crashing out anonymously at the start of the Aussie GP and left to his own devices ever since. But when everyone’s out for blood, being on the sidelines is probably not a bad place to be and given that the car is still slow, it’s probably where he’ll stay.

What's on your mind?
Does everything have to be painted grey?

Likes
Winning the Race of Champions (individually and representing Finland with Marcus Grönholm)

Dislikes
It's never been established that Heikki actually dislikes anything...

Looks like
Gordon Tracy, pilot of Thunderbird 4

Most likely to...
… be the only contemporary Finnish racing driver you'd enjoy being stuck in the lift with

Felipe Massa

Age: 27
Number: 3
Team: Ferrari
Nationality: Brazilian

Status
Albert Park was best forgotten as the Ferraris wilted in the heat. But there was some promise there and La Scuderia now look like they’ve closed the gap on Brawn. Like his team-mate, Felipe will be watching the skies and crossing his fingers, but each will be doing it for very different reasons.

What's on your mind?
I can drive in the wet, I can drive in the wet, I can drive in the wet...

Likes
Racing from the front

Dislikes
Answering questions about coming from behind

Looks like
Donny Osmond (trust us, sometimes it's uncanny)

Most likely to...
… win in Istanbul (so far, nobody else has...)

Kimi Räikkönen

Age: 29
Number: 4
Team: Ferrari
Nationality: Finnish

Status
Kimi’s exit from Albert Park as opposed to his team-mate’s exit from the race sums up the different approaches of the two: Felipe spluttered back to the garage to retire quietly while the Finn stuffed his shiny new F60 into the wall. But Australia 2008 was one to forget for Kimi too, and he rallied to win in Malaysia. It’s hard to predict what the 2007 world champion will do next but after setting the pace in second practice, anything is possible.

What's on your mind?
Kimi's mind? Are you kidding?

Likes
Champagne

Dislikes
Bahraini sparkling fruit juice champagne substitute

Looks like
Thor. But in a good mood

Most likely to...
… think 'James Hunt' is a cunning pseudonym; use an inflatable dolphin as a pillow; race powerboats dressed as a gorilla; make everyone else in the world look slow...

Robert Kubica

Age: 24
Number: 5
Team: BMW-Sauber
Nationality: Polish

Status
The Pole was looking unstoppable in Australia right up to the point when Sebastian Vettel… erm… stopped him. It was a sudden end to a great afternoon’s work from Kubica who looked good for second at least and had done it all without KERS. The early signs from Malaysia are that the BMW is not well suited to Sepang, but there’ll be plenty of support for the Petronas-backed outfit and if the rain falls as expected, Robert will be one of those to benefit.

What's on your mind?
Why do I have to do these ridiculous interviews? Can't I just go karting instead?

Likes
Karting

Dislikes
Anything that isn't karting

Looks like
Basil Rathbone; various James Bond villains (though really nice in person)

Most likely to...
… finish

Nick Heidfeld

Age: 31
Number: 6
Team: BMW-Sauber
Nationality: German

Status
While Kubica grabs the attention, Nick continues to do the behind the scenes work, which at the moment involves breaking in the KERS system. Nick’s got to work fast to find the right set-up for Sepang, but then he did just that in Australia and it nearly paid dividends for the team. Instead, BMW, like McLaren and Ferrari, arrive in the jungle still waiting to open their account.

What's on your mind?
Ignore the pitwall, ignore the pitwall...

Likes
Fine dining. (Does it affect his fitness? "It's not like we're playing tennis")

Dislikes
Being reminded that he's comfortably leading the all-time list of drivers finishing second without also recording a victory

Looks like
Stevie Winwood. Older than he looks; much-admired by his engineers; very good in Traffic...

Most likely to...
… be mistaken for a member of ABBA

Fernando Alonso

Age: 27
Number: 7
Team: Renault
Nationality: Spanish

Status
Fernando managed to take a respectable fifth place at Albert Park without incurring any protests, penalties or controversy. Still he’s making up for it in Malaysia, telling Diario AS "This is not the first time they have been to the stewards, it is not the first time they have lied to the stewards, so sooner or later they had to be caught and punished." But Nando’s also got an ear infection, a fever and is on antibiotics. When it’s already 90 degrees and humid, the last thing you need is a temperature. A rough weekend in store for the Asturian.

What's on your mind?
Vengeance!

Likes
Magic (honest – Fernando does card tricks)

Dislikes
McLaren. Everyone has demons: few people think theirs live in Woking

Looks like
Nigel Mansell (quick, brutal, paranoid… eyebrows)

Most likely to...
… rip the motorhome door off its hinges when crossed

Nelson Piquet Jnr, or Nelsinho Piquet, or Nelson Piquet

Age: 23
Number: 8
Team: Renault
Nationality: Mostly Brazilian

Status
Crashing due to brake failure while being harried by Nico Rosberg at Albert Park, Nelsinho didn’t make the greatest start to the year. He blamed brake failure but the fact he was being chased by Nico Rosberg at the time didn’t help his cause. At least he out-paced his double-world champion team-mate in practice.

What's on your mind?
How much does all of this carbon-fibre cost?

Likes
Being young, handsome and wealthy

Dislikes
The comments occasionally made about his driving ability by team management

Looks like
Evel Knievel – specifically the Mattel Deluxe Car Develop Stunt Set for Boys...

Most likely to...
… bring his yacht to a race

Jarno Trulli

Age: 34
Number: 9
Team: Toyota
Nationality: Italian

Status
Pushed to the back of the grid at Albert Park, he makes it back up to third, is passed, allowed to re-take the place, stripped of his podium, then reinstated… and Jarno wonders why everyone says he’s hard to overtake. So Trulli is vindicated, which should be a shot in the arm for the Toyota team.

What's on your mind?
La Dolce Vita

Likes
Vintage jukeboxes, motorcycles, his vineyards

Dislikes
The suggestion he's cranky (it makes him cranky)

Looks like
Monty Python's Black Knight (none shall pass!)

Most likely to...
… have a long snake of frustrated drivers trailing impotently in his wake

Timo Glock

Age: 27
Number: 10
Team: Toyota
Nationality: German

Status
Fourth place, eventually, for Glock represents a decent start for the German but the car looks indifferent in practice. Still Timo and co are convinced they have a competitive machine, just as long as they can find it in the soaring temperatures at Sepang. "We still have plenty of work to do before qualifying but we had a similar situation in Melbourne and we made a lot of progress so I am still optimistic," O’Glock told his home broadcaster Setanta.

What's on your mind?
Don't get stuck behind Trulli!

Likes
Fitness (he says)

Dislikes
Jokes about the Austrian gun manufacturer to which he is not related

Looks like
Timo is a master of disguise – at least according to the journalist who once interviewed him thinking he was his team-mate

Most likely to...
… be the driver everyone forgets when writing the first draft of a season preview

Sébastien Bourdais

Age: 29
Number: 11
Team: Scuderia Toro Rosso-Ferrari
Nationality: French

Status
Thanks to some disqualifications, French Seb opened his account in Melbourne and will be hoping for more of the same in Malaysia. The RBRs have shown a turn of pace and while the STRs may not have the same speed, at least not yet, the Sebs might be forming a partnership capable of picking up points consistently.

What's on your mind?
Those red-framed spectacles are so last year

Likes
Science and Mathematics

Dislikes
There not being a French Grand Prix this year

Looks like
Bizarrely, his data engineer Ben (who signs autographs)

Most likely to...
… be the only F1 driver recognised in America

Sébastien Buemi

Age: 20
Number: 12
Team: Scuderia Toro Rosso-Ferrari
Nationality: Swiss

Status
Underestimated in Albert Park, Swiss Seb led Toro to another double triumph over RBR, scoring seventh and two points on his debut. If that sounds familiar that’s because French Seb did exactly the same thing last year. But Seb (CH) knows the Sepang layout from his GP2 days and knows he can race without the burden of expectation.

What's on your mind?
Everyone around here seems very old...

Likes
Living in Bahrain

Dislikes
The suggestion Toro Rosso hired him to avoid having to remember a new name.

Looks like
Um... somebody famous from Switzerland... William Tell?

Most likely to...
… acquire the nickname 'Swiss Seb' and loathe it...

Mark Webber

Age: 32
Number: 14
Team: Red Bull Racing-Renault
Nationality: Australian

Status

Another home GP to forget for Mark after he battled his way back to fitness to make the start of the season. But he’s sounding much happier with the car saying it’s “a big step forward”, more reliable and quick. With Red Bull widely tipped to impress this season, things are at last looking up for the Aussie.

What's on your mind?
Beating Vettel

Likes
Exercise

Dislikes
Reality TV ("Aw mate, it's just terrible...")

Looks like
Sport Billy

Most likely to...
… be the only driver who asks you the cricket score

Sebastian Vettel

Age: 21
Number: 15
Team: Red Bull Racing-Renault
Nationality: German

Status
Whisper it, Seb is human after all. But after the frustration of Melbourne – and a debilitating 10-place penalty – the German is finding support coming from all corners of the paddock – not least a certain septuagenarian in the FOM offices. “If the rule is that you get punished for a collision with another driver, then soon we will have no more fights,” said Bernie. “We want to see more wheel-to-wheel, not less.”

What's on your mind?
Can Giorgio Ascanelli still shout at me now I'm racing for a different team?

Likes
Anybody who doesn't compare him to Michael Schumacher

Dislikes
Being referred to as 'the new Schumacher'

Looks like
Michael Schumacher

Most likely to...
… become the new Schumacher

Nico Rosberg

Age: 23
Number: 16
Team: Williams-Toyota
Nationality: Vague

Status
Nico should be a happy man: the car is showing turns of speed, Williams have been one of the few big-name teams to benefit from the new regulations and they still have KERS to come. Suddenly racing is much more competitive and action-packed, “It's just a big mess and that's what the spectators need,” said the German Finn.

What's on your mind?
Am I less pretty than I was? Am I starting to look like my Dad?

Likes
Being referred to as Nico Rosberg, rather than Nico 'son of Keke' Rosberg

Dislikes
People assuming he's Finnish

Looks like
Britney Spears (according to his mechanics)

Most likely to...
… have a demon start and make up a couple of places, but then try something too adventurous and rip off yet another nosecone.

Kazuki Nakajima

Age: 24
Number: 17
Team: Williams-Toyota
Nationality: Japanese

Status
Kazuki is cultivating a reputation for being reliable and steady – a trait that helped him stay in touch with his illustrious team-mate until the later stages of last season. If the Williams is as improved as some suspect, then Nakajima Jr is on the right path.

What's on your mind?
Wow! Patrick Head is really loud

Likes
Living in Oxford

Dislikes
The cost of living in Oxford

Looks like
He's driving for Williams, so his Dad must be a famous racing driver. Ah yes, he is.

Most likely to...
… sit around quietly and mind his own business

Jenson Button

Age: 29
Number: 18
Team: Brawn-Mercedes
Nationality: British

Status
From scrapheap to championship hopeful, Jenson’s career is in danger of being diagnosed as bi-polar. The old smoothy made victory look easy in Albert Park and although Ferrari look to have giant strides and are on a circuit that traditionally suits them, Button must be oozing confidence that he’s in line for back-to-back wins. The Brits love an underdog and now they have one from the unlikeliest of sources.

What's on your mind?
Oh good, another 'On the Button' headline

Likes
Doing triathlons. For fun

Dislikes
Everything since 2004

Looks like
Don Quixote (or Wile E Coyote)

Most likely to...
… suggest Lewis Hamilton come and compete in a real man's sport...

Rubens Barrichello

Age: 36
Number: 19
Team: Brawn-Mercedes
Nationality: Brazilian

Status
A dodgy gearbox is not doing Rubens’ chances of a win too much good, but the Brazilian came back from a lousy start to secure a one-two for Brawn in Australia. Rejuvenated by a car that rewards his vast experience and considerable talents, Rubens will be all out to prove that he is a race winner in his own right.

What's on your mind?
Sixty-two podiums and plenty left in the tank, baby!

Likes
Golf, Brazilian soap operas

Dislikes
Holding the door open for Michael Schumacher

Looks like
Lazarus

Most likely to...
… outlast us all

Adrian Sutil

Age: 26
Number: 20
Team: Force India-Mercedes
Nationality: German

Status
Praying for rain and a large slice of luck. He was one place away from a point in Oz and out-pacing his team-mate around Sepang, but he has a mountain to climb catching the rest of the grid. Still, Brawn have proved that there’s plenty of power in that Mercedes unit, the tricky part is unlocking it.

What's on your mind?
This isn't the McLaren I wanted to drive...

Likes
Minding his own business

Dislikes
Usually qualifying last

Looks like
Ludwig van Beethoven (there may be other German pianists, but, being a sports website, Adrian and Ludwig are the only ones we know)

Most likely to...
… hang out with Lewis Hamilton

Giancarlo Fisichella

Age: 36
Number: 21
Team: Force India-Mercedes
Nationality: Italian

Status
Fisi knows what it takes to win around here but that’s probably not going to make much difference this weekend. Despite a new engine and the rule changes, Force India look like they’re going to be stuck at the back for some time to come now. But Fisi has the experience to know that he might pick up the odd point is he can keep his car on the black stuff – something he struggled to do in free practice.

What's on your mind?
There is often very little on Fisi's mind

Likes
AS Roma football club

Dislikes
Presumably Lazio and Juventus

Looks like
Fisi has suggested Johnny Depp would be a good choice to play him in a biopic. Make up your own mind...

Most likely to...
Turn up to work on a big, fat Harley-Davidson

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Jacob

Szczerze mówiąc to już zapomniałam o istnieniu Red Bulletinu. Świetne przedstawili sylwetki wszystkich kierowców Very Happy

Najlepsze kawałki:
Felipe:

Sue

Ja mam wszystkie numery z zeszłego roku na kompie jakby ktoś chciał.
A z tego co pamiętam to już nie miało być wydawane w F1, z powodu cięciu kosztów przed Red Bull, a tu proszę.

Lolok

Tu jest okładka:

Na tej stronie co wcześniej podawałam, są też wydania .pdf red bulletinów

Jacob

Lolok

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Smile

Magda

Nie ma Roberta i Kimiego na okładce! Co za ciule!
No właśnie tez pamiętam, że mieli nie wydawać.

o ja Zuzia jestem chętna

Lolok

The Red Bulletin Commentary China
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Lolok

No Red Bulletin to nie jest, ale znalazłam coś takiego jak Lotus Racing Notes - Canada
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